Back-to-School Tips for Moms: 4 Ways to Make the Transition Feel Less Crappy

The Chaos Is Real, But the Meltdown Is Optional

A back-to-school commercial ruined my day—and made me realize why the whole season feels like a giant mom-run group project. In this episode, I break down why back-to-school hits so hard, and shares real (borrowed, stolen, and tested) tips to make the transition feel manageable.

Who Should Listen

• Moms feeling that tight-chest anxiety just thinking about back-to-school

• Parents managing the shift from loose summer routines back into school-year logistics

• Parents of kids having big feelings about a grade-level milestone (last year of elementary, etc.)

• Anyone in the Sane Mom Summer series looking to carry that "easier on yourself" energy into fall

  
  

Chapters / Timestamps

• 00:00 Intro - I saw a Back-to-School commercial…

• 02:45 Back-to-School asks a lot of moms...

• 04:26 Back-to-School is also a family transition...

• 06:04 Treat back-to-school as a transition, not a one-day event

• 07:13 A few things that help

• 09:46 A few more practical tips

• 12:35 Closing

What You Get In This Episode

• Why back-to-school hits so much harder than it should: (because it's more than a logistics checklist, it’s a full family transition)

• A reframe that makes it manageable: Change “let’s have the perfect first day” to “what actually matters right now?”

• Four practical resets: reset sleep/wake times early, simplify the first week, use visual supports, and talk openly with your kid about the transition

• A grab bag of extra tips—practicing the school drive, tax-free shopping weekends, the lunchbox leftovers talk, and a genius trick for back-to-school clothes shopping

• A reminder that it’s okay for the first two to three weeks to be a little bumpy!

Host Bio

Caitlin Kindred is the host of Not Quite Grownup, a podcast for moms navigating the gap between who they're "supposed" to be and the messy, real version of adulthood.

Sources & Mentions

• Episode 77: Back to School Prep: 2 Teachers and Moms Help You Start the School Year Right

• Sane Mom Summer series:

  • Episode 205 — Lowering the standard for summer

  • Episode 206 — Confidence

  • Episode 207 — Not letting the internet dictate your summer

  • Episode 208 — ADHD in summer mode

• Tax-free weekend / state sales tax holidays for back-to-school shopping in Texas: Friday, August 7, through Sunday, August 9, 2026

• Next episode teaser: wrapping the Sane Mom Summer series by carrying summer's ease into the school year

Next episode

Wrapping the Sane Mom Summer series by carrying summer's ease into the school year.

Read this Episode's Full Transcript

Back-to-school tips for Moms

[00:00:00] Caitlin K.: I saw a back-to-school commercial yesterday, and honestly, it pissed me off. And I, I'm sure some of it was a visceral response. The teacher in me was annoyed by the company shaming me into back-to-school mode before I'm ready.

[00:00:21] But then I was thinking about why I was annoyed, because I'm growing up and I'm doing some self-reflecting apparently. And I think that there's another layer to it that bothered me. Back-to-school season sounds like it should be organized and responsible and mildly wholesome, and moms are relieved, and probably dads are too, any parent.

[00:00:53] But at least for me, it feels like this [00:01:00] giant mom group project where all of us are suddenly responsible for shoes-- finding shoes, new shoes-- forms, packing lunches, uh, general emotional regulation and remembering, you know, if today's a library day.

[00:01:24] That's a lot. That's a lot to, to go back into after a summer that's been, you know, a little lax in all those areas.

[00:01:36] Welcome back to Not Quite Grown Up. This is the podcast for moms who are just trying to keep it together one watered-down iced coffee at a time. And this is part of my Sane Mom Summer series, which has really just been me trying to make this season more livable.

[00:01:54] So episode one I talked about lowering the bar for yourself, for expectations of what summer's supposed to [00:02:00] be. Episode two was about using this season to rebuild your confidence. Three was not letting the internet run your nervous system and dictate all kinds of things about your life. Four was ADHD in summer mode.

[00:02:19] And today I'm talking about gearing up for back to school without sending you into meltdown mode, because that school year pivot is a special its own special kind of chaos. And just so you know, if you are already feeling a little anxious and that, that tension in your chest just thinking about back to school, y- I'm right there with you.

[00:02:45] Back-to-School asks a lot of moms...

[00:02:45] Caitlin K.: Because back to school asks a lot of families, especially moms, all at once. Again, you're resetting bedtimes, remembering paperwork, buying things you didn't know existed three days ago, [00:03:00] getting mornings under control, figuring out transportation, uh, to and from, and then there's the after-school activities.

[00:03:09] And act like somehow you're not also internally screaming about snack containers and missing water bottles and a communication app. And all of that is before we get to the emotional side, right? Those are all the logistics, but there's this big emotional piece that comes with going back to school. Kids have big feelings about that shift.

[00:03:35] I can tell you my own son is already like, "This is my fifth grade year. I'm feeling nervous because this is the end of elementary school and it's gonna go too fast." And yes, he is a little bit worrisome, like a grown man, but that's okay. We're gonna talk about that, he and I. So parents also have big feelings about it.

[00:03:55] ... He's not the only one. Like, I'm also like, "My baby is, is [00:04:00] leaving elementary school soon." And, and it's a lot for me to take on. And then everybody's feelings come together at 6:57 or whatever time you need to get out the door in the morning because someone can't find the new shoes. So this season feels intense because it is intense.

[00:04:26] Back-to-School is also a family transition...

[00:04:26] Caitlin K.: And the real block about this for me is that back to school gets treated like it's only logistics, but it's also a big family transition, and we can't forget that part. It's not just your calendars and backpacks, it's a complete shift in rhythm, in expectations, in energy, in responsibility. And no one, even the most organized of moms, is equipped to manage [00:05:00] it like some sort of, I don't know, Mary Poppins flawless productivity challenge where you just take a spoonful of sugar and it all goes down perfectly.

[00:05:14] I often end up feeling like I've failed before the school year really gets going, 'cause I'll be great at back to school for three days, and then on day four, I'm already a mess. And I think that happens because back to school happens all at once. You're trying to do all of it all at once. You're trying to reset everything the night before, make sure the house is fully ready to go the night before, everyone has to be emotionally ready the night before, and somehow you're still supposed to, like, smile and be like, "Yay, everybody's going back to school. It's so exciting. It's a new school year." That's a lot of pressure for one [00:06:00] week.

[00:06:04] Treat back-to-school as a transition, not a one-day event

[00:06:04] Caitlin K.: So I think what needs to be remembered is that back to school is a guided transition. It's not a complete home overhaul. It's a guided transition. So just like everything else in your life, we need to prioritize and ask ourselves what actually matters the most right now instead of how do I get everything perfect before, before that first drop-off, before that first bell rings?

[00:06:37] That's an easier question to answer. What actually matters the most right now? And I feel like I need to help with this because a sane mom summer needs to gracefully transition into fall. If the goal of sane mom summer is [00:07:00] like a gentle, relaxed summer, then I feel like I've won if I help you take that same vibe into the school year.

[00:07:13] A few things that help

[00:07:13] Caitlin K.: So I'm thinking about a few things that help, and I'm gonna tell you right now, these ideas come from Jen, not just from me. We agree on them, and I'm stealing them because they're from her and her mouth. So we're gonna start with an easy one, okay? Reset the basics early. That means pushing back sleep earlier in the evening, pushing wake-up times just a little bit earlier every day in the couple weeks before school starts, and resetting those morning expectations before the first day.

[00:07:55] Simplify the first week. You cannot schedule yourself [00:08:00] into a nervous breakdown. Not everything needs to start up again that first week of school. In fact, I would encourage you not to start everything back up again that first week of school. Decide what you have to do that first week and what can wait.

[00:08:16] You do not need to sort out all school supplies on day one. It is okay if kids do not show up to the first day of school w- with every single supply that they need. If necessary, you can talk to your child's teacher about it and say, "You know what? First day of school this year is on a Wednesday. We're gonna go back to school shopping on Saturday so that I have everything that he's gonna need, and I can do it all in one trip." Not a problem. Teachers will totally understand.

[00:08:49] This next tip is a lot for my ADHD ladies, but also just for anyone who needs, who struggles with change and transitions. Use [00:09:00] visual supports and routines, lists, launch pads, drop-off zones, repeatable habits. Save your brain from holding everything at once by letting visual cues do the work for you.

[00:09:18] And have a real conversation with your child or children about going back to school.

[00:09:27] Because if your kid is anxious or you're anxious or both of you are, it's okay to say so, and it's really, really validating to have a conversation where your feelings and your child's feelings are similar about something.

[00:09:46] A few more practical tips

[00:09:46] Caitlin K.: Okay, so if you're new here, my former co-host is Jen, Jenny, and she and I shared a ton of other practical tips to set you up for success and way back in 2023 at this point.

[00:09:58] That would've been, [00:10:00] at this point, I can count. It is three years ago, um, and it was episode, I, oh, I have it here. Oh, 77, and we called it "Back to School Prep: Two Teachers and Moms Help You Start the School Year Right," which I'm gonna link in the show notes. You can, you can do all of the, the prep. I'll also link the blog post so that you can see that and just read them.

[00:10:21] That way you don't have to listen if you don't feel like it. But we did recommend a few other tips that I'll add here.

[00:10:27] One, practicing the drive to school before the first day. That is a Jen tip. That is not a Caitlin tip. Again, she's so good at those kinds of things.

[00:10:36] Taking advantage of tax-free weekends or, um, whatever your, your state equivalent is for back to school shopping in your state. So look that up, 'cause there's probably a date coming up soon for back to school.

[00:10:50] Have the conversation with your child about what to do with uneaten food in their lunchbox. Sounds [00:11:00] so random. I swear it will help you with your frustrations when you open up the lunchbox.

[00:11:07] Okay, here's my favorite tip of the, of the entire group. When you're shopping for clothing for back to school, buy a few new things before the school year starts so that they can show up and they have their, their new gear on. But then don't buy anything else until after everyone has gone back to school, because they're gonna look at other kids and decide that they want something similar to their friends.

[00:11:33] And that way you haven't spent all their back to school wardrobe money, so you don't have to hear, "But Mom, I want this," and you're like, "But I already bought all your new school stuff." This way you, you both win.

[00:11:45] So there's more tips just like that in that episode. Uh, again, it's episode 77 called "Back to School Prep: Two Teachers and Moms Help You Start the School Year Right." Make sure you go listen to that for the rest of the tips.

[00:11:58] Anyway, [00:12:00] it is okay for this season to be a little bumpy while everyone is adjusting to your new normal again. You can't set the goal for the first day of school to be perfect. That's just not gonna happen. So make that first stretch, those first, like, two to three weeks of school feel manageable enough that no one cries in the minivan because of frustration.

[00:12:28] Crying over watching your baby get a little bit bigger, absolutely yes. Crying over frustration, no, we don't want that to happen.

[00:12:35] Closing

[00:12:36] Caitlin K.: So again, if back to school feels like a lot for you, that's because it is a lot for you. It's a big transition, and transitions by their very nature should take time. So that means if you don't get everything right the first week, that's totally okay.

[00:12:53] You don't have to reinvent your entire family system by day two. That's

[00:13:00] crazy. And you, mama, do not have to carry the whole season on your back, because it's not your personal responsibility to make the first day look and feel polished and perfect.

[00:13:13] A sane mom summer should, should, I don't like the word should, but I'm gonna use it here. Don't wanna should all over myself. So let's change it. A sane mom summer can absolutely include a sane-ish school year start.

[00:13:32] I'm gonna wrap up this Sane Mom Summer series next time with some ways to take this Sane Mom Summer vibe, this easy breezy, let's pretend easy breezy. We're gonna take some of these vibes of, of summer and bring them into that school year transition, because there's no reason why you should [00:14:00] have to leave the happiness of summer that you did experience in summer.

[00:14:05] You should be able carry it forward into the school year.

[00:14:11] Okay. Take a deep breath. Yes, back to school is coming. No, you cannot avoid it. You don't have to get angry at the television like I did, but you can take small steps now in late summer, in late summer to make it a little easier on yourself. Okay? Take a deep breath again. Love you, mean it. Bye.